I just read through about two years worth of diary entries. It wasn't too hard, since I didn't update that often in 2002. I realized two things. 1.) I'm pretty much in the same place I was last year at this time. Living at home, not wanting to face the future, etc. 2.) I spent a lot of time with my boyfriend. I pretty much spent all my free time either with him or planning to be with him.
I read some of those old entries and got all sentimental and a little heartsick. I miss the kisses. I haven't been kissed for 28 days now. I want to cuddle too. I also miss having someone to talk to every day. I've pretty much gotten over the expectation of him calling. That was really hard at first. I kept waiting for him to call between 4 and 7, but he didn't. Once I got over the fact that my phone wasn't going to ring very much anymore, I had to stop thinking about him before I went to bed. I've stopped that too. At least, I haven't done it for 4 or 5 nights now.
Now. Now I have to move on. I just have to figure out how to do it. I was at the store yesterday and I stopped to read some Hallmark cards. There was one for New Year's that said, "You're one habit I don't want to break. I love you. Happy New Year." I think that card pretty much sums up what I'm thinking, only opposite. I'm trying to break my boyfriend habit. I'm just trying to deal with the day to day cravings.