Another quote from By the Light of My Father's Smile by Alice Walker. Edited for content, by me.
The mad dog is considered wise because it has lost its mind. Which is one of the most difficult things in the world to do.
But why would you want to lose your mind?
It is a way of saying you must not live too much in your head. It is a way of reminding you to stay in your emotions, no matter how nutty they are; it is a way of saying also, that craziness has value.
I tend to shy away from emotional people. I am not good friends with people who are ruled more by their hearts than with their heads. And yet, this quote claims that this is something of value, something to be preferred, being ruled by your heart. Why is this? Would the world be a kinder, gentler place if the majority of the people were ruled by their hearts, their emotions?
I think it must be hard to function as an emotional person. Not only would it be painful (I think of emotional people as being more exposed, therefore, more vulnerable), but also more confusing, therefore, exasperating, frustrating. And the more frustrated I feel, the more ineffectual I feel, the more out of control I feel. Must we all feel out of control at some point in our lives?
Is it necessary to feel/be out of control in order to grow as a person? Probably, yeah. Some of the most valuable experiences are borne out of turmoil. I know that I learn from regaining control; it's not the process of losing control, but the repossesing of myself once again. So, if I admit to this-- growth, rebirth, self-knowledge, self-awareness-- as all being a part of losing control, then why do I fear it so much? Why do I make it a point to avoid it?
Why do I hold so tightly to my mind? Because I am afraid of being hurt. Or of hurting others. There are casualties to change, families uprooted, friendships destroyed. If I'm content with the status quo, what's to say that I'll like what's on the other side any more than what I have now? I've witnessed, firsthand, the negative consequences of losing your mind.
Craziness has value?
Craziness has value?
Where? How?
Being crazy costs too much. I am unwilling to lose my mind because I don't want to pay the emotional price. So what if I'll grow as a human? Growth doesn't necessarily mean better. Who's to say I'll be a better person on the other side? So I'm more self-aware. I know my limits, I've tested the boundaries of sanity. Personally, I think I'd prefer to live in my bubble. My dull, intellectual gray world where things are what I make them; where I accept things as I understand them.