An email I actually sent:
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okay, i haven't thought all of this through yet, so if i seem to ramble or don't make much sense, that's why. but i feel like i need to say some of this, but i don't really know how. and i don't want to overthink it. i'm kind of embarrassed by this email, but, oh well.
i just wanted to apologize for the whiney and unexplained manner in which i presented my request for "more words." i guess it was probably pretty confusing and frustrating; i know i would have been at a loss if you'd said the same thing to me. the way you handled it, by not getting agitated, showed that well, either you had no clue what i was talking about and was just going to wait until i explained myself, or that you were genuinely going to think about it and figure out what it was that i needed to hear.
there isn't anything in particular that i need to hear. it's just that, well, i know there's lots of thoughts about you that go floating through my head that are left unsaid, so i figure (i hope) it's the same for you. i just would like some of those nice things to be said out loud. because when i miss you, or i'm feeling bad, it would be nice to be able to think, "but he said i was a cutie." or "he jokes that my belly button is his." things like that.
i mean, i guess i'm not romantic in the traditional drug store cookie cutter way of things, but i am a romantic in that when i'm bored i daydream about past conversations, and i would like to sit and sigh with stars in my eyes about the lovely flattering things my boyfriend said to me.
but i hate to make this request because then the things you say are forced and they're not genuine. they're not things you would normally say, which cheapens them and... that's not good. but like i said, maybe there's some things that you think or are thinking or will think that perhaps you wouldn't normally be inclined to say out loud, and if you could, i would appreciate it very much. and they don't have to be mindblowing declarations of passion or sincerity, they just need to be sweet and sentimental, things that i can store up and look back on and remember how nice you are with.
because right now, most of my stuff is things that you've (or we've) done. like how the other night you held my head when you leaned me back because you wanted to make sure i didn't hit it. most of my memories are times and actions, sweet things you've done, and now i need more words- sweet things you've said.
but i don't need you to become a blabbering fool, you don't need to talk all the time, and like i said, i don't want things you think i want to hear. maybe some genuine thoughts that you'd like to share because you think i'd like to hear them. but nothing false. i don't want you sitting at your desk thinking, "well, girls like to be told that... they look good in that dress... and... they have nice eyes... and... what else? um, i could tell her that i like her big feet." see, i don't want you to do that.
so, am i making sense? this isn't a complaint, there's nothing wrong with you, i'm not trying to change you, or the way our relationship works, and if it turns out that you don't remember to say stuff, well, that's okay too. i can always remember things we've done- only i was hoping that i wouldn't have to do that so much because most of the time remembering some of those things turns me on.
so this was basically a big rambling email saying, "you know, if you could perhaps say a few more of those nice things i know you're thinking it would make me feel good."
how's that?
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So, Diary, I actually sent that email, and I'm almost ashamed to admit it. But, you know, I really needed to say it. Now, the bad part. I got three emails in return, over the course of a few hours. The first one said, "Um." The second one said, "Hmm." The third one said, "You are so cute, and sweet, and snuggly, and I love being with you. You have the softest, smoothest skin ever, and great hair."
NOOOOO!!!!!!!
*bang* *bang* *bang* (that's me pounding my head on the table).
And yet, I melt.
First thought- damn.
Second thought- Aww.
I'm so easy. Just a big softie. Even if you do it wrong, you get major points.