I ordered a pizza last night. We didn't know which place was the closest to the house, so we just dialed one up. "Can I have your phone number?" "Sure." "Okay, Sandra?" "Well, no, I'm not Sandra, but you can call me that." "Oh, well, that's what we have in the computer. Okay, what do you want?" "I'd like a pizza to be delivered." "What kind?" "Cheese." "Wait, which side of the street are you on?" "Huh? What?" "Are you on the east or west side of the street?" "The west." "Oh. And are you north or south of 22nd?" "Um, north." "Oh. Well, then you're going to have to call another store. We changed our delivery routes, and don't deliver there anymore." "You don't deliver to the west side of the street?" "Yeah, you'll need to call the other place." "Okay. Good-bye."
So I called the other number, and talked to a very nice guy named Josh who told me that they only have small, large, and extra-large pizzas because they're trying to rip people off and make them buy the larges by not offering mediums. Then he offered me a coupon since I didn't have one. He was very nice. My companions said that I was flirting with him. I said that he must have started it because I don't flirt unless I'm reciprocating the advances of another person, and then I don't consider it flirting, just being nice. Then one of my two companions informed me that she had been told that I flirt. I said that if I do, I do so unknowingly and unwittingly.
That admission, the "So-and-so told me that you flirt," kind of took me off guard. I didn't know why at first. It just kind of stuck, jabbed at my brain. And while my face betrayed nothing, my mind grabbed at that statement and pulled it apart, interrogated it. "What do you mean by that? What else do you know? How did you come about? What is your purpose?" These are the things that I always wish I could ask people, but know that I can't. Humans don't work that way.
Now I know how my companions must have felt. I'd been doing the same to them all evening and on previous encounters. They'd say something, and I'd respond with, "Yeah. I knew that. So-and-so told me." That freaks people out. At least, it freaks me out, and I believe that it started to unnerve the others. And it's not the fact that they know something that you didn't tell them, it's the not knowing, the not knowing what else they know. You want to know why they know this about you, what the conversation surrounding these nuggets of wisdom consisted of, what else they know, what they are hiding, what kind of opinions they may have formed outside any kind of interaction with you. You feel vulnerable. These people have untold stores of ammunition against you, or they may not, you don't know, and that is the problem.