I visited with old friends this weekend. I also met new people. It was surprisingly stressful. I didn't expect it to be, but it was. I need my cat to talk things over with, but he's not here. He's up in Flagstaff, and I'm down in Tucson, with two other cats who couldn't care less about my troubles. Two other cats who can't even seem to bear to be in the same room as me. And now I have spider bites that itch. I could just fall into a big pool of complaint, but I won't. I want to puzzle things over for awhile.
So the new people I met. They are the friends of a good friend, and I'm not sure that I like them. But I want to like them. And really, it's not all that big a deal, whether I like them or not, because I won't be seeing them on any kind of regular basis or anything, in fact I forsee maybe 2 or 3 more outings with these people. But like I said, I want to like them. I like to think that I like most people I meet, and it feels strange to be even ambivalent towards these people. I don't know what it is. Maybe I just need time to get to know them, time that I don't have. Oh well, right?
Tee hee. So I decided to decide that these friends of a friend are questioning whether or not I'm gay. And I'm kind of enjoying the disturbed feeling I have regarding that perceived opinion. It's the same sort of feeling I would have if I thought that someone else thought that I was a snob. I have no idea why I think they would think this, or even why I'm enjoying it.
As for old friends, they read this diary, so I find it hard to really think about them here. But I can honestly say that it was nice to see them, and it was kind of weird, it not being familiar surroundings that we were in. I don't think I'd ever seen these people outside of Flagstaff, so seeing them in Tucson was almost surreal, like it really wasn't happening. I don't know what to make of that, either. See, this is why I didn't say anything yesterday, I don't know what I'm thinking.
Ach. Now my brain hurts, I think I thought too much today. What, with processing my current life situation and going to see the movie, Memento, I think I've overloaded the circuitry. I'm going to go now.